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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2014; b# m% \: f$ M _. w+ \mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">年8月12日
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# z" k( h K4 D; l) F楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">地点：& k$ A6 c& F) X1 ?mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”（QQ群号：366351120）
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% G7 z7 R$ H5 ]+ s: U* B0 ?/ ~8 r. H楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">主讲：) b9 J, [8 \8 U3 G# E: Tmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方
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1 K% R/ Y, z7 [3 K/ a楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整理：( u+ M; g# e& Y1 y0 U$ ~, Y$ i9 ^
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏
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" k# k$ Q3 J% @% T5 q& |; ]. V楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">具体内容：
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# t- Z7 h }7 y+ Z$ qmso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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2 C( ?6 i! _8 e4 a O1 l+ eline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">; ?9 Q# ~1 d- [/ P& `font-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫：某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报，大家帮某同学推敲一组标题，如何？
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly"># f, w5 k8 k# l7 v0 y( Y; W) ?"Times New Roman"">（一）立足转型强村，打造宜业乡村。
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">) X. }3 N2 g5 D6 r& y# Z) S"Times New Roman"">（二）坚持“五水共治”，打造宜人乡村
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"Times New Roman"">（四）突出民生保障，打造宜居乡村。
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">& ]: G: ~% `% Y7 l" }& t6 ufont-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;1 G. p, }4 y: b1 B
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村，幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的，我的意思是用一根线串起来，让这组小标题形成一个整体。; E7 _5 p: `5 w0 x! [: K4 W! ] Y# I3 Qmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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8 [. k3 [. `5 U# @' L8 p. G5 f楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：9 R: {# t% {6 _- g0 w2 mmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，内容来讲有并列的，也有逻辑递进关系，不知如何把握。. n. Y1 o5 m! ~1 v! s; J
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">富增收入，美展新颜。' X- g7 B2 V- F0 [mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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/ x9 ?3 s0 a4 h/ n, e& x1 A楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">霞光：! q" r! \/ P" B S p& vmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点，惠农增收作为增长点呢4 c- v5 [; B" \1 c+ @/ ^mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,& Q g/ u5 p T14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family: F: m2 j" I+ V3 a' |5 `
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% ^2 K) r7 I' H' [% Z9 h+ S楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏:1 f5 {' Y/ ^* M$ o5 }9 jmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">感觉民生保障包括很多方面，不只是宜居。宜居一般是和生态环境放在一起的，民生保障一般和和谐、幸福搭配在一起。3 o, x7 ?' E( i& @$ L
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- F" E9 P; V* v楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度：3 ^3 c9 ?7 p4 y4 U* P7 ?$ I& `mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下，环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。& }6 t4 `; N |! W/ x8 V7 fmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：" b U8 v# W* e" d; n+ r! X- W
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整个提纲是这样子的：& q3 Y2 G- O* V J Cmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly"> t* \% L o: H: T8 j1 u宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、三任书记接力干，一张蓝图抓创建4 {5 ^7 L4 X5 [2 K8 b7 M
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、一以贯之谋创建。( F4 q# i& ~0 M% O( g
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、政策支撑强保障。/ q+ V. Z7 J3 l* {. z: s; k* L" e仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">" H+ ~7 y" h: j+ Z" A$ L) @宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、十年时间抓整治，美丽乡村显成效: P% l8 o( J# G0 n
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">; [# K' `2 W; `/ d宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的2 B: A/ C' p! H3 G% Mfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏+ Q1 K- R% L) [9 ]: @
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">”1 F; Q5 \4 T5 Nmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。7 `% H" B* O- T. G' {! `font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;5 t* [# w4 Q( e: T+ v; W3 m' \' e* M
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、依靠主体强动力。2 S) E" h# X+ E6 o+ [9 dfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;+ V0 {9 x+ M" N3 @
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、推进农村生活污水治理。- ], g. n( P U+ c( @: n
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">) q- N# H5 S- i) r4 ]仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> . `' L& E" e9 f7 g宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（四）坚持把民生保障作为美丽乡村建设的5 @% x1 K* @8 c3 p' g' s5 i9 u
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& e5 b1 @% |$ g4 T- l' I楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：$ x3 D4 Y) j& X* Bmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">产村联动促增收。坚持建设与发展并重，因地制宜做到美丽乡村建设与产业项目发展并举。一是整合特色产业。根据不同的区位优势、产业基础和发展趋势，规划产业布局，整合产业资源，大力发展专业市场，壮大村集体经济。如古山镇大园东村依托发达的废旧钢铁产业，引导周边- l/ V. Q' c; J9 m' r4 V. N
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* M s4 ~1 n, @0 N: G宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个自然村向中心村集聚，建成了拥有. I4 h% B. B) |- Q
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">1000; {1 c7 }" g! Z4 Q) f4 y7 r
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村，通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设，盘活土地，投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村，通过与相邻* Q1 @" d& J( ~2 N- {mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">4, i7 b. |8 b) F& t% v8 a2 i
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" {+ r4 e: e* j4 S+ |8 |1 u宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区，集聚人口. X% ]/ O H& Y0 K: r
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">：一般正文里不用一是二是三是的吗？1 Y/ Y' a- q! u( O5 c1 j) P, pmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用，问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结，挂了个美丽乡村的头，较牵强。9 m( e% @5 s1 Y0 ] ^- Smso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:, M2 B8 ~2 `& x2 A; d9 `3 p
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那没有，美丽乡村建设也包括这些内容的，而不仅仅是村庄整治。6 h% O2 C! n3 G$ b) Y) s
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& q* Y5 o5 d# B$ C楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：+ S B* n" g" U V% @mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思，美丽乡村汇报也好，生态乡村汇报也好，这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况，第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报，第三是做法，第四适当点点问题。当然，问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施，应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里，做法没有必要分这么多层次，容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如，要说转型，你想表达的转型是什么转型，怎么转型，转出什么成效，结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。: G1 P0 d; z8 B$ z% K2 o+ Z
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2 i" v! M5 y- e5 i* d. H7 I楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:+ ~& [& `' W, f/ K& o) A* z J, U$ gmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不是多，是乱了。我看完的体会是包罗万象，但具体内容看完却记不住多少。( O' A# q# B% ?, N" Mmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">层次可以简化，什么都想说，太杂了。! r+ W- U! [1 C0 |3 `( n3 g
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏! a/ M# ~3 S5 H
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+ V `+ I3 A9 B" K3 g) u3 n0 S宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写，要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。# L* i0 g4 D9 U. d4 nmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那我把内容归纳一下，第二部分就点明五六点重点内容。4 ~5 V" ~ z: m9 K1 ]5 h8 ?% q* {
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少，要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建，为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效，亮点多，做法新。6 k$ L6 W; ?) Y A6 S+ _& Zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这也有点像二元标题。- Q" v9 k5 y4 C. Z4 G1 vmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:$ S8 i H, d- a6 ]font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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% [( U# F2 r7 c0 a* }9 [mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法，要把材料融会贯通，并从中提炼观点。* {0 a) N# c! s3 G; O5 }0 Dmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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8 Z% d- v# N0 K9 r5 _8 Z; Cmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法，有以下几个方面的建议：一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况，如果要这样一对一的修改，是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的；二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题，可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误，观点（小标题）是根据内容提炼出来的，而本文的小标题对仗工整，乍一看给人的感觉是比较好，但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如：第一部分，作为乡级政府谈何政策支持？乡镇有制定政策的权限吗？$ {" t: r' j+ m
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我们是县级市，不是乡镇。* @8 A* \0 o6 H9 Z! I- ?+ T8 B
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级，包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限，都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外，从文章的提纲看，二级标题不能囊括内容。, l4 @" u9 \( |+ ~
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:2 [ E& G- I* rmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级市应该有制定本县美丽乡村建设实施意见和考核标准、政策支持等权力的吧。二级标题与子标题脱节。& f! `+ [ s- j2 r. [+ Z
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限，但也可以出台一些举措，比如以奖代补，纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。8 |) v. J9 o& D6 z. m# E$ vmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:9 E; V- a. F) x( J' y, y; Imso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这个问题我同意。而且这也不是核心问题。核心问题可能还是逻辑架构上。我觉得晓斌对转型可能没有理解透。* D* N* P* y3 `% U+ D2 omso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学胡晓斌4 d6 d6 H/ o) ~0 F* g! Amso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">——剖析材料的写法。& V; K; ~/ V0 K3 Y: G2 A% f O7 s
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">指尖绚烂:9 Z9 A2 H( B$ @* o* l+ X' M2 pmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这篇六大点，有点多，整合下。7 @6 R; o$ z/ I& ~- j) D& g+ P
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路# O$ Z/ G3 O. s
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来，写加强社区制度建设，对93向社区制度进行梳理，非常平，看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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2 E9 b+ v5 [% k T楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:需求为王，刨树刨根，循此，深挖，梳理片段，轮廓，佐以素材，碰撞，修正思路，揉融观点素材，思路为纲，纲举目张，终是符合有关要求，才算好。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难，难在何处，之一是思维。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:难在先方有可贵后生！思路素材之间有一碰撞修正过程不是一成不变的，中间很多时候有变化。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来？老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼，从个别字词中联想，从上级文件中生发，从参考资料中化用，从交流碰撞中偶得。
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300x180 AD
